Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Screw healthcare, give our forces in-inventory lethality against land combat vehicles NOW!

Most of your 40 points about quality healthcare and education, clean air, safer streets, offices, and classrooms are just nowhere near as important a priority as this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OdR0rA9VBrI&feature=related

PS We learned in class that these self-destruct mechanisms designed to "reduce collateral damage" work about as well as the Popcorn function on your microwave.

3 comments:

  1. I enjoyed the way the Textron ad maintains the same production values and narrative tone that you might find on late-night infomercials like "the wonder blade" or "chop magic."

    I will admit that if I am in charge of these contracts, the big selling point here is being "in-inventory." No need to wait to blow the shit out of whatever the fuck the infrared laser decides should be targeted.

    I think "limiting collateral damage" is code for anything with a pulse or a motor will be blown the fuck up.

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  2. Yeah the crappy text intro and war-masturbation synthesizer scoring did make me think of either infomercial or the news scenes from Robocop and Total Recall.

    Scary to think we are now living in a society that Paul Verhoeven could have dreamed up.

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  3. I strongly urge that we not be dazzled by the PowerPoint wizardry and high production values of Textron, and instead focus our efforts on more comically potent ordnance, such as this:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X5mqgtXoIxs

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